if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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