did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
