It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
