just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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