shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just forgot I was standing up.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
