I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
