she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize