the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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