Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
