I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
