You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
