She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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