You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
