i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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