right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
