I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
