I'll bet she douches with gravy.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
