I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
