Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
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