Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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