Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
