why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
