Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
