he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
