omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
