At least make sure they are 18
Why
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
