Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
