Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize