you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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