so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
