I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
