And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
