Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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