Just cropdusted the office
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
