I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
