i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
