He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
