Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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