these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
