We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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