carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
