Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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