I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
it was like eating out sand paper
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
