...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
