can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
