she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
