Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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