STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
