i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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