never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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