just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize