Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
