so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
