I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
