guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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