they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
