I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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