I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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