I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
