My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
