Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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