Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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