I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Too much gin, very little bucket
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
