A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
