All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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