I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
