Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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